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Mar. 3rd, 2009

There comes a time when you realize there is more to life than basking in your own immense genius. Given, that time is not now or even likely to be soon, for I have made the breakthrough of all breakthroughs (oh, all right, Zelenka helped. Maybe John too. A little. And I may have been inspired by dreams of Sherlock Holmes that were not like that, okay?)

Where was I? Oh, right. Behold, mere mortals. (And Others. I'm willing to concede to Others at this point.) I give you--

Hey, wait, cinnamon brownie time. I'll get back to you.









You can stop beholding now.

Jan. 9th, 2009

Ah, breakthroughs. There's a certain satisfaction in taking a supposedly insurmountable problem and bludgeoning it to death with my gigantic genius. I suppose Amos helped too, of course, much as he often does--by muttering to himself and arguing with me over INSIGNIFICANT DETAILS and then maybe helping my mental process along a smidge.

Smidge is a technical term.

I suppose I could have done worse in best friends. Zelenka on one hand supporting my truly impressive intellect, Carson on the other doing-- I'm not quite sure what he's doing other than trying to take cheap shots at me, but I suppose I have to put up with him since I've had him all this time. John to--well, that's private! But he's very manly and heroic: just ask him. And Sam-stand-in to be outrageously intelligent, beautiful, and cruel.

I can't complain. Even if they are canceling my show.

Oh oh oh I wonder if Jennifer will ever show up? I always wanted a harem.

Dec. 20th, 2008

Private )

Nov. 26th, 2008

I am Canadian. Stop shoving your turkeys in my face.

Also? We kicked your asses in 1812.

Oh, oh, and? Bah humbug.

Nov. 11th, 2008

So! I told my mother my boyfriend had a vagina. She was very understanding about his final steps into womanhood. I believe she's sending him a care package.

Oh, and I believe Cassidy is being sent a penis cozy.

It's only funny because it didn't happen to me. (And I assume they will change back. Because while vagina is wonderful, I signed up for penis, thank you.) (Though the blonde hair is terribly attractive.) (What? I like blondes!)

Oct. 27th, 2008

Closed - Zombie Plot

"You could have stopped me, you realize."

Chase ignored the speaker--Amos, of course, unless Tim had let himself in, which really, when he thought about it, was fine so long as he didn't touch anything--and concentrated on the motherboard. He was so absorbed in the detail-work that he barely noticed when someone sat down next to him and someone else slid a power bar toward his knee.

"Hmmm," Chase said by way of thank you, yes, now go away please, fumbling for the power bar and the cup of coffee being pressed into his hands. Okay, maybe Tim could touch things a little, if he came equipped with--

Chase spat out the power-bar-that-was-not-a-power-bar-but-was-granola-with-ohgodswerethosepeanuts and finally looked up. An expectant ring of faces looked back at him, all familiar, all cranky, and all, supposedly, dead.

"Oh," he wheezed, throat closing up. Peter Grodin looked abashed, Abrams looked triumphant, and Gall just looked sick. Griffin--oh gods oh gods oh gods--leaned out of the kitchen doorway. "What's the matter, Doc?" he asked, frowning.

"I think he's having an allergic reaction," Grodin noted.

"Who gave the doctor a lemon?"

"It wasn't a lemon! I would know if it were a lemon!"

"Is he breathing?"

"I didn't sacrifice myself for the bastard to have him die now."

"He's turning a weird color."

"Really? Is that your medical opinion? Here, help me lower him to the floor. Anyone have an epi-pen?"

Chase blinked dazedly, gasping in choked breaths as the ring of scientists grew. There was Johnson. Dumais. Hays. All staring down at him.

"Think we should call the doctor?"

"Call the Major. He'll know what to do."

"Call the Major? No wonder you never got that second PhD!"

"Is anyone else concerned about the colors he's turning? I'm concerned about the colors he's turning."

"He has to have a pen somewhere. This is Rodney McKay we're talking about. There isn't a medical malaise he hasn't adopted as his own."

"Oh, hey, is he flipping us off? He can't breathe and he's flipping us off."

"That's our McKay all right."

Oct. 17th, 2008

Tim )

I hate everyone.

Oct. 16th, 2008

The Welcome To Tampa: A Guide to Surviving Pure Insanity With Wit and Panache is over halfway done. It's part science fiction and part hello! this city and all the people in it are insane! ethnography.

And may I say now that I never had any interest in becoming an Anthropologist? Everyone knows that Anthropologists and Archaeologists can't be trusted. Why, they always go evil in Star Trek TOS! (And obviously TOS is the touchstone of true reality.)

That aside. Would it kill people to keep better records?

I should note, this is my...eighth? tenth? cup of coffee. So, my sense may not be your sense. It is still sense, obviously--I am a genius, after all--but

Do you know what I found today? Physics For Dummies. Physics is not for dummies. And, for the record, Denise Richards could never pull that role off. AND! I am frankly insulted that Rodney McKay wasn't enough of a sex symbol for the teeny-bopper-obsessed idiots in control of the Stargate Franchise. I mean, honestly. And, fine, there was also Ronon and Teyla running around being all-- Them. And John Sheppard who was annoying and pointy-eared but, you have to admit, hot.

And Carter!

So. In conclusion, I should get back to work.

Oct. 7th, 2008

I think I've fairly established that these truth-telling sevens don't bother me terribly much. Though, there is something slightly embarrassing about mentioning to your reformed Amish friend how you think hot sex improves your work efficiency by 16.89%.

While describing how you're humming tunelessly as you fix the sweet, sweet, nectar of the gods you refuse to believe in, thank you.

Oct. 4th, 2008

Private )

Amos )

Tim )

Cassidy )

Sep. 27th, 2008

At least it's not Bratz dolls.

That said, I would have preferred GI Joes. And I am not panicking. This is monumental.

Private )

Amos )

Sep. 26th, 2008

So, if I don't sleep tonight, will I be aware of the mass insanity as it happens?

Sep. 23rd, 2008

Question!

Where do the seven events originate from? Collective unconsciousness? Mythologies? Random insanity plucked from the ether?

If I were to, say, have everyone think of mass penguin migrations, would we be wading through penguins come the 27th? Or-- Oh, oh, oh, hey, there wont be Wraith will there?

If there are Wraith, I am leaving. No offense, but I have very much been there, done that, escaped with my life, thank you.

Zelenka )

Sheppard )

Zelenka )

Daniel Jackson )

Sep. 17th, 2008

Closed- Tim and Chase

Cut for gay sexors )

Private )

Amos )

Tim )

Oh, what's going on
What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Ah, what's going on?

Sep. 7th, 2008

Oh. Oh, well! Ha!

No, no, sorry, but you have to understand, this is fairly amusing for me. I spent all morning and afternoon trying to figure out what strange thing was going to happen today. I wandered around, talked to people, kept my eyes and ears open and really noticed nothing unusual.

And then I realized, hey, everyone is talking like me. And then I did some digging here, and what do you know.

It's practically Rodney McKay day.

So in that sense, this is rather amusing. The day where you say anything you're thinking--the one day people like Rodney McKay and, oh, Cordelia Chase reign supreme.

Tim )

Sep. 4th, 2008

Wow. Apparently we as a group (note how I am now including myself in the insanity) are talkative. There is a great deal of information to process.

Luckily, I am a genius. And I know several other geniuses. And a few groupies.

See, Sheppard, I told you I would have groupies.

Aug. 27th, 2008

Private )

Oh for the love of-- Sevens. That is what he meant by sevens.

Couldn't an explanation go in the new community member guidebook? No shirts, no shoes, no service; it floods on Wentworth every time there's a hard rain; you may be mystically effed in the A on days with the number seven in them.

I would say only in the Pegasus Galaxy, but yes, obviously not.

Sorry, done now.

Private )

Wait, is there a community guidebook?

I'm getting a vision of a world... A world where this is. not. normal.

Cavemen. Singing puppets. Pornstaches. Naughty tails. I am not a sexy mechanic, damn it!

...okay, that came out a little left of crazed, but! What is going on with this city? Am I having a mental break? Oh gods, I am having a mental break. I can't be having a mental break--my brain is far too valuable to be destroyed like this.




All right. Okay.

I'll play along. This time. But if anyone so much as twitches in my direction with handcuffs, I am going to unleash Hurricane McKay Hysteria.

And. Perhaps I'm going to stop looking out the window nervously. But come on. There is a girl with a naughty! tail! on the loose!

Aug. 17th, 2008

Okay, no, seriously, I could have lived my entire life without being accosted by the Bad Idea Bears.

What. The. Hell?

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